SAN MATEO, Calif. - TelAve -- For National Publicist Day (October 30th) and for all throughout the year in the Newsroom:

To help you vent some of your frustrations about trying to deal with the hundreds and thousands of press releases and publicity calls that you may be receiving by phone, by mail and by email every day, here are some Public Relations jokes that can help you vent some of your frustrations about trying to deal with all those press releases and publicists.

The jokes are by Robert Barrows, President of advertising and public relations agency called R.M. Barrows Advertising & Public Relations in San Mateo, California.

The jokes are about some of the costs for public relations services, the best ways to measure the effectiveness of your publicity efforts, and about public relations in general.

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So, for your National Publicist Day celebrations, and for all throughout the year, here are some of Barrows' jokes about some of the aspects of Public Relations:

A) Regarding Costs for Public Relations services:

"When I meet with a potential client and they ask me about my fees for various public relations services, I tell them that there are basically two types of public relations services:

1) Trying to get your name into the News…and…
2) Trying to keep your name out of the News.

If they want me to try to keep their name out of the news, I tell them that will cost a lot more."

B) Now…regarding Measuring the Effectiveness of Public Relations Services:

"One of the traditional ways to measure the effectiveness of your public relations efforts is to try to track how much press coverage you got.

If you are trying to measure the effectiveness of Crisis Public Relations efforts, there are two main numbers to look at:

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1) How much restitution did the company have to pay?
2) How many years did the executives get in jail?

In each case, the lower the number the better."

C) And…regarding typos or mistakes in press releases and other kinds of articles:

"I was typing the words Public Relations and I typed the word Relations wrong…
…it almost looked like Public Retaliations…
(Sometimes, a very necessary part of the job)"

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You can see some more jokes by Robert Barrows in a book he wrote called  "Crazy Robert's Joke Book" that you can download for a dollar on Amazon.

"And, of course, Barrows says, if you need some help with your Advertising or Public Relations, please give me call at R.M. Barrows Advertising and Public Relations at 1-650-344-4405."